Chapter 6

Death does not exist

Since the 15th there has been a whole work of preparation for the transformation. What could one call it?… a transfer of power.

The cells, the whole material consciousness obeyed the inner individual consciousness – most often the psychic or the mental (but the mind has been silent since long). But now this material mind is busy organising itself like the other or rather like all the others, like the mind in all the states of being.

It is, as it were, a displacement of the directing will. And there, materially, physically, it is something like a surprise; and a need for identification with the new direction – that is a little difficult. It is difficult also to explain… It is no more the same thing which makes you act – “to act” means everything, to move, to walk, anything. It is no more the same centre. And then, if through habit you try to cling to the old centre, oh! it makes a great disorder and you must be very careful not to let the habit, the old habit, express itself, manifest itself.

It is difficult to say. It is still too much only an action.

Thought here, in this brain, finds it difficult to adapt itself.

Because for two days (two days continuously, I mean) there was all the while an aspiration: “How will this new world be when it becomes material here? How will this new world be?” And then that put me so much “within” that I was… I was not distant, but there was a kind of a thick blanket of haze between me and the world as it is. It was there even today.

(Silence)

This morning, for example, several times, for some time (I do not know how long, but not very short, a quarter of an hour, half an hour, I do not know), the cells of the body, that is to say, the form of the body, had the experience that to remain together or to be dissolved depends on a certain attitude – an attitude or a will, something of both will and attitude. And with the perception (sometimes almost double at the same time, one being rather a memory and the other a thing lived) of what makes you move, act, know: the old way as a memory, and the new in which evidently there is no reason to be dissolved unless one chooses it – that has no meaning, it is a meaningless thing: why be dissolved?

And if, at the time when one falls back – it is not exactly that – when the old consciousness comes back to the surface, if one is not very careful, that produces naturally a swoon.

During – oh! it was long – the whole time between five o’clock and quarter to six, it was like that.

That gives, at the same time, the feeling of the unreality of life and of a reality which one might call eternal: the feeling of death does not exist, it means nothing, it is merely a choice. And the dislocation, which has no meaning, which has no reason to be there, is a fantasy.

And then all the old way of seeing, feeling, perceiving, is there behind, like a kind of blanket – a blanket of haze, which renders the contact woolly, imprecise.

Now that I have regained the ordinary consciousness, I can express the thing; otherwise it would be difficult to express. And the contrast or the opposition is painful, a suffering; both complain: the old has the feeling that it swoons, and the new that it is not left quiet. When you are in one or the other, it is all right, but when the two are together, it is not very pleasant. And there is a kind of feeling of uncertainty; you do not know very well where you are, whether you are here or you are there; you do not know exactly.

But this change of initiating power, if one may say, this transfer of power, has had upon me the effect of a unique experience, of something that had never taken place before. Unhappily, that did not last long. But the experience has left a kind of certitude in the body – it is less uncertain of the future. It came to it, as if to tell it: “It will be like that.”

If that remains, it is evident immortality.

A critical period during the transfer of power

The greatest difficulty is in the nerves, because they are so accustomed to the ordinary conscious will that when it stops and the direct Action from the highest is asked for, they go mad, as it were. The other day I had this experience, which lasted more than an hour, and it was difficult; but this taught me many things – many. And all this is what can be called the “transfer of power”; the former power withdraws; and then before the body adapts itself to the new power, there is a period which is critical. As all the cells are in a state of constant aspiration, it goes relatively quickly, but all the same… the minutes are long.

But more and more there is a kind of certitude in the cells that whatever happens is in view of this transformation and this transfer of directing power. And even at the time when it is materially painful (not even physically: materially painful), the cells keep this certitude. And then they resist, they bear the suffering without depression, without being affected in any way, with this certitude that it is to prepare for the transformation, the process of transformation and of the transfer of directing power. As I said, it is in the nerves that the experience is the most painful – naturally, because they are the most sensitive cells, those that have the most acute sensation. But they have a very considerable, very spontaneous, spontaneously strong receptivity – without any effort – to the harmonious physical vibration (which is very rare, but still it exists in some individuals). And this physical vibration, what might be called a physical force, a harmonious physical vibration (spontaneously harmonious, without the necessity of a mental vibration, like the vibrations of a flower, for example; there are physical vibrations like that, which carry in themselves a harmonious force) – the nerves are extremely sensitive and receptive to this vibration, which puts them right immediately.

Replacement of consciousness

What I have explained about “replacement of consciousness” is being done methodically, methodically, continually, continually, but then with… apparent damages or in any case, for a time, a great diminution of capacities. But it is a curious phenomenon with the sight and hearing: from time to time it is clear, as clear as it can be, and from time to time it is completely veiled. And that has very very clearly another origin – another origin of influence. It will take months, I believe, before I am able to see clearly. In any case, the general consciousness (same gesture above the head), what may be called the universal consciousness (in any case the terrestrial consciousness), has not moved for a minute – not for a minute. It remained there all the while…

It is a new functioning. It is interesting.

Is it your perception of beings and happenings that has changed? Is it your way of perceiving that has changed?

Yes, altogether – altogether. It is very strange… Actually, all this time has been utilised for developing the consciousness of the physical being. And this physical being (Mother touches her body) seems really to have been prepared for another consciousness, because there are things… its reactions are altogether different, its attitude is different. I have passed through a period of total indifference when the world represented nothing, meant nothing. And then, gradually, from there emerged a new perception, as it were. It is only on the way.

The rigidity is yielding to a new way of being

…the rigidity of the form appears to be yielding to this new way of being. But, well, we know the first contact is always very “surprising”, but gradually the body gets accustomed. It is the moment of the passage from one way to the other which is a little difficult. That is done very progressively, and yet there is a moment (the moment of the passage), a few seconds that are… the least that one can say is, “unexpected”.

All the habits are in this way undone. And for all the functions it is the same: for blood circulation, for digestion, for respiration – for all the functions. And at the moment of the passage, it is not that the one suddenly replaces the other, but it is a fluid state between the two, and it is difficult. It is only this great Faith, wholly immovable, luminous, constant, immutable – the faith in the real existence of the supreme Lord, in the sole real existence of the Supreme – which enables everything to continue to be the same in appearance.