Chapter 21

Joy of the Cells Seeking to Unite With Sri Aurobindo

Words of the Mother

Some months ago, when this body had once again become a battlefield and was confronting all the obstacles, when it was suspended, asking itself whether… it wasn’t wondering intellectually, but asking for a kind of perception, wanting to touch something: it wondered which direction it was taking, which way things were going to tilt. And suddenly, in all the cells, there was this feeling (and I know where it came from): ‘If we are dissolved out of this amalgam, if this assemblage is dissolved and can no longer go on, then we shall all go straight, straight as an arrow’ – and it was like a marvelous flame – ‘straight to rejoin Sri Aurobindo in his supramental world, which is right here at our door.’ And there was such joy! Such enthusiasm, such joy flooded all the cells! They didn’t care at all whether or not they would be dissociated…. ‘Oh,’ they felt, ‘so what!’

This was truly a decisive stage in the work of illuminating the body.

All the cells felt far more powerful than that stupid force trying to dissolve them; what is called ‘death, left them entirely indifferent: ‘What do we care? We shall go THERE and consciously participate in Sri Aurobindo’s work, in the transformation of the world, one way or the other – here, there, like this, like that – what does it matter!’

This came more than a year ago, I think. It has never left. Never. All anxiety and all conscious tension have gone.

Only – there is an ‘only’ in all this – if there were a more liberal proportion between the ‘refreshing’ (if I may say so) freedom of solitude and the necessity for collective work, there would probably be fewer difficulties…. Towards the end of the first year after I retired upstairs (perhaps even before, but anyway, some time after I began doing japa while walking), I recall having such sessions up there!… Had there been a personal goal, this goal was clearly attained; it is indescribable, absolutely beyond all imaginable or expressible splendor.

And that was when I received the Command from the Supreme, who was right here, this close (Mother presses her face). He told me, ‘This is what is promised. Now the Work must be done.’

And not individual but collective work was meant. So naturally, because of the way it came, it was joyously accepted and immediately implemented.

But when I remember that experience and consider what I have now…

(silence)

Well, what Sri Aurobindo did by leaving his body is somewhat equivalent, although far more total and complete and absolute – because he had that experience, he had that, he had it; I saw him, I saw him supramental on his bed, sitting on his bed.

(silence)

He has written: I am not doing it individually, for myself, but for the whole earth. And it was exactly the same thing for me – but oh, that experience! Nothing counted for me anymore: people, the earth – even the earth itself had absolutely no importance.